They loved watching me fall

Writers listen to lots of different types of music. Looking at my playlists we have salsa music, some boleros, r&b, country and rap. Yes, I am an eclectic girl with many different tastes but nothing says swagga in my play list like Jay Z.

And then there’s this song. The one at the top of this post. I love the words:

“The motivation for me is them telling me what I could not be.”

This is the life of an artist, no? Crossing that line between doing this for a hobby and believing  in yourself enough to take that step forward.

Why is going forward such a problem for some people? Seems like the people who love you most or are supposed to love you are sometimes the people who want you most to fail. Failure for them is their success, not yours. They kept you from your dream, your goal, your aspiration. But what’s in it for them? Reassurance. Company in their mediocrity.

I had this teacher…my kindergarten teacher actually…who told my mother I was slow. At the time, Spanish was my native language. Then there was my middle school gym teacher who thought I wasn’t a very good athlete and didn’t say anything to me unless she needed to. Thought I would end up pregnant before high school. Then there was my college English professor who thought it was a joke when I said I wanted to be a writer.  Then there were those two bosses who did everything they could possibly do to break me down including tell me that my work was sub par and that I was deficient in my writing skills set.

Wonder what they are all doing now? Cause if they saw me right at this second all of their mouths would drop. But I’m not one to hold a grudge but when I finally do publish, the first books will be autographed. And my note to them will be:

“The motivation for me is them telling me what I could not be.”  Smooches, Icess

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